dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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