she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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