3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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