so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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