She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
