I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she looked like the before picture.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
