Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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