is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
