I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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