Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize