i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
