i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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