So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
