I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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