He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
