I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
