The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
