I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
