They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
did you just send me my own nude
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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