he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
