the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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