I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
