the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
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He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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