I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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