So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
