I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
