I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
