I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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