Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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