She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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