We're facebook friends in real life
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You're a waste of cheezeits
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
