mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
