I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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