They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
