Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
