i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
