That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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