Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
