My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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