Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
