I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize