So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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