i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
