he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
