She's JV to your varsity
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
