Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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