I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
