if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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