The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
