community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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