I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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