I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
