I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
