what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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