is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
