but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
